Thursday, October 19, 2006

October 19 - At 33,000 Feet over the Pacific Ocean

I'm writing you from about 33,000 feet above the blue Pacific Ocean this afternoon, sitting in first class on this flight to Hawaii. I have never flown first class before, and I could get used to this! The service is wonderful, the flight is gentle, and five hours in the air is literally "flying by". 
So, in anticipation for the peace I hope to find while in the Islands, and the closure I need to bring to this phase of my life, I paint for you a small watercolor of where perhaps my mind will be in a day or two. Not today or tomorrow, for tomorrow we have the chartered catamaran that will take us out for the sunset sail, services and scattering of ashes. I need to hold everything until that moment. Afterwards I can release and relax.
 Just how profound this voyage is for me came today, before we lifted off when the flight attendant needed to move our carry on luggage--I said, "Please handle that with care, in there are the ashes of my parents." The clarity of that thought and its implications allowed me a good cry. Even now I am on the verge of tears as I write this. The journey to tomorrow's closure moment progresses, and I look at this little watercolor (about 5 x 7 inches) and see myself sitting in the chair beginning to enjoy the rest of the voyage. Passages.  Life is all about those passages.  I don't think I'll sell this one.

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